Co-housing can be very rewarding and very challenging. Having clear housemate relationships are an important part of a happy home life for many creating affordable housing.
There are various ways co-ops have used Clearing Conversations to support peaceful living. I'm happy to develop a strategy that is best for your situation.
Some houses bring me in before conflict occurs to create a common language and container for when conflict happens. This has been greatly helpful for those who've had the foresight to plan for the inevitable moment when things start to get hard. This goes well with having a House Ombudsman (see below).
Generally, I have a conversation with all the key players in the house then create a strategy for going forward. Many times there are one to three people who are central to the conflict that need individual clearing conversations. After the individual mediations happen we can then bring the whole house in for a larger conversation. The whole process can take up to several weeks depending on scheduling.
Having someone who your house trusts and knows can be wonderful when things start to get hard. I can be the person that anyone can go to and ask for help. This can be a support both to the nervous system of individuals and the household as a whole. Having an outside support system also levels power dynamics and supports an unbiased approach to any conflict.
My experience of Misha facilitating a (very intense and charged group) conversation could not have been better. She expertly modeled presence and empathy, tracked the emotional and energetic tone of all involved, held awareness of time, and created a very safe container for a difficult discussion. I was deeply moved and inspired by her ability to hold so many experiences at once. Her presence as a facilitator would enhance any group process.-R.S., Oakland, CA 2013
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