Start off the new year right by having a clear slate and cleaning up your relationships.
Tip 1: Empathy to yourself is the first step in getting out of the blame and shame spiral. But isn't empathy learning to walk in another person's shoes? Yes...but it's also not pushing away your own feelings and needs. Self Empathy is about allowing yourself to have all the feels.
Tip 2: If someone responds to you with a charge in their voice you can choose to react or get curious. Getting curious about what’s going on will invite them to say what’s underneath their words and tone. That way you can have a real conversation about what’s going on rather than just a reactive downward spiral into a fight or an avoidance of what’s really going on for that person.
Tip 3: When you have a long term relationship because of a commitment, be it romantic partnership, housemates, co-parenting, the small stuff can turn big rapidly. Being vigilant about staying clear with each other is time well spent. Staying clear early helps build trust so when the big stuff happens you have practice and not so many built up resentments. But bringing up hard stuff is risky. You can potentially make things worse. Setting up a structured time for feedback helps people prepare themselves to listen.
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